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The Culture and Identity Interview with an ADHDer

Name, and/or twitter handle: @surfacingwater

Pronouns: she/her although not bothered

Parent/Non Parent: Not a parent

Age when you self-dx/were diagnosed ADHD: Have been hearing since my twenties I have ADHD, self dxed at 34

1: Did you feel you were different from others as a child?


2: Are your parents supportive of you as an ADHD'er?

dad is no longer alive, do not have a rship with mother

3: How did you determine your ethical system?

I was raised Roman Catholic and that was a massive part of my childhood although I would self describe as mostly atheist now. I have a strong sense of morality derived from kindness I think - I don't see the relative point of cruelty for the sake of it, I don't see why a person would take pleasure in it. I have an INCREDIBLY strong sense of honesty I don't get why people lie.

4: In which way does your private self differ from your outward facing front?

Not much. I am probably a lot more fun, ironically, in person, than my online persona portrays. My sense of humour is very deadpan and sarcasm doesn't always convey well online.

5: Do you enjoy finding mistakes/errors in the production of films and television...continuity, etc? YES

6: What are the top 3 traits you look for in a friend?

honesty, humour, integrity. You can take years to text me back but if you make me laugh and you're a GOOD person I'm fine with that!

7: What are the top 3 traits you perceive as negative, but are willing to overlook in a friend?

bad temperedness, but I am hot headed too. Scattiness, but I don't mind it. Bluntness, everyone else thinks it's negative but I like it.

8: What are the top traits you look for in a partner/traits your partner possesses?

pretty much the same as what I look for in friends - honesty, a sense of humour, integrity

9: What would you do with your life if you had unlimited funds?

Set up a charity/trust dedicated to support individuals with severe mental health issues gain access to community support esp if they were at risk of homelessness/falling into the prison system. Never actually have to work again beyond these things I'm passionate about and lie on a beach all day giving talks on Zoom about the aspects of law I'm super passionate about. Maybe set up a YouTube channel to talk about those aspects to inspire people to pursue these niche little areas. Still sit on my beach drinking in between the things I'm interested in. Play a hell of a lot of playstation

10: What does freedom mean to you. What does it entail?

happiness. Never being frightened about money. Being able to do as I wish and live how I want

11: What does success mean to you?

being able to talk about those niche little areas I want and am most passionate about, or inspire others to do so

12: Are you more stable/happier/productive within the structure of a relationship...partner/good friend/long-term roommate?

somewhat... Routine makes me want to pluck my own eyeballs out and a lot of partners have struggled with this because the more you try to pin me down the more my brain screams I need to run away and be free. When I am allowed to just exist and get on with my life, come and go as I please, not be checked up on etc, I'm the most laidback partner. Put shackles on me and I will RUN.

13: Do you find it stressful to be around other parents at school functions?

not a parent but yeah the idea of being at the PTA with the cookies sounds like some kind of govt torture to me

14: How often do you pretend to not see people you know, if you don't want to talk?

all the time

15: In which areas do you identify the most with other autistic people?

bluntness. I don't understand why people don't just want to hear things as they are. Be straight with me please

16: What are the most stressful aspects of parenting an autistic child, as an autistic/ADHD caregiver?

N/A although it wouldn't bother me if my kid was autistic

17: What are the top 5 things you want your children to know about the world, and why?

The world is so imaginative and creative. Find out everything you can. Ask so many questions. Be annoying. Learn everything, all the things.

You're gonna make mistakes and that's okay. Don't lie down and die from them. You get back up and get out there.

If you're ND too, people are probably going to call you a weirdo or whatever at some point. They'll probably do it even if you're NT. They're weird. Just keep being you. Don't let other people get in your head with their perceptions of you.

The world can be an incredibly cruel and unfair place but it can be incredibly beautiful and so much of this is fleeting. Enjoy as much of it as you have and don't apologise for enjoying life because that's what it's here for.

18: Does living off the grid appeal to you, and why/why not?

absolutely not! I am very much attached to my city life and the spoils of it but each to their own

19: What is your favorite style of architecture and why?

I honestly couldn't tell you the first thing about architecture, my apologies 🙈

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