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  • Community Contributor

The #ActuallyAutistic Culture and Identity Project S33

Updated: Sep 15, 2021

Name, and/or twitter handle: @ohautistic Pronouns: she / they

Parent/non-parent: parent

Age when you selfdx/were diagnosed autistic: 37

1. Did you feel you were different from others as a child? Yes, I knew I was different but not why, and thought everyone else knew but didn't tell me / kept it secret from me (mostly because I saw they understood each other so well without effort)

2. Are your parents supportive of you as an autistic individual? They still don't understand autism but want to learn what it means

3. How did you determine your ethical system? I always have been conscious of doing the right thing, especially not harming others that is important to me.

4. In which way does your private self differ from your outward facing front? I am much more sensitive and worry more than other see, I find it hard to express strong emotions and show them to others in a way they can understand / read. Everything I feel is internal and rarely shows on my face / body language

5. Do you enjoy finding mistakes/errors in the production of films and television...continuity etc.? Yes, I look for patterns instinctively and notice when things are out of line / or mistakes.

6. What are the top 3 traits you look for in a friend? Caring, kind and accepting of differences.

7. What are the top 3 traits you perceive as negative but are willing to overlook in a friend? Gossiping, overly into appearances, not accepting of peoples differences (as these people are difficult to find in my real life).

 8. What are the top traits you look for in a partner/traits your partner possesses? Caring, accepting my personality (which I now know is mostly autistic traits), kind, non judgemental, give me space, allows me to stim without comments / judgement, happy not to socialise with groups / others most of the time, generally a happy / positive person.

9. What would you do with your life if you had unlimited funds?

Rest! I would take up hobbies and relax more instead of always working, I would use the funds to pay for things like cleaning / organising / cooking when I'm in burnout.  I would also use it to help others, especially women in my position.

10. What does freedom mean to you. What does it entail?

Autonomy, happiness and being 100% myself without being judged.

11. What does success mean to you? Being happy and helping others.


12. Are you more stable/happier/productive within the structure of a relationship...partner/good friend/long-term roommate?

Depends on who it is but yes the right partner has brought out all my positive traits and allows me to relax and be myself.  The right friend / partner means I don't have to mask. I only know a couple of people like this.

13. Do you find it stressful to be around other parents at school functions?

Yes I feel like I always do or say the 'wrong' thing and feel very self conscious before, during and after.

14. How often do you pretend to not see people you know if you don’t want to talk?

All the time, its the surprise element I think and a knee jerk reaction to protecting my mental state.

15. In which areas do you identify the most with other autistic people? Burnout, parenting, feeling like an outsider.

16. What are the most stressful aspects of parenting an autistic child as an autistic caregiver? Clash of sensory needs, I crave quiet and 1 of my kids loves noise and chaos.  Also getting no rest and giving all my time to them causes burnouts.

17. What are the top 5 things you want your children to know about the world and why?

-Not everyone is kind or your friend, even if they seem nice. 

-There is lots of love in the world if you look in the right places.

-Differences are good not a bad thing no matter what some people say.

-You matter, and are just as important as anyone else.

-There is always magic and something new to learn in the world no matter what age you are.

18. Does living off the grid appeal to you and why/why not?

Yes but I'm not handy in any way so would still need to live in a community.

19. What is your favorite style of architecture and why?

Not sure sorry!

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